On September 11th, 2014 I watched as my 22 month old daughter was held down by 5 Hospital staff; Nurses and Aides and wrapped in 2 blankets like a burrito to have EEG Leeds put on her head. She screamed and cried and tears fell down her face like she was being hurt! They kept saying "This doesn't hurt her"
Obviously they didn't get the memo...she's Autistic and Sensory Sensitive! Just having someone touch her hurts her, clothes hurt her, putting socks, shoes, and a coat on hurts her!! They were hurting her!!!
As I died inside!!!
I called out to her "Zoey, look at Mommy, I'm here...I'm here, I love you...you're okay"
She didn't look for me or look at me once, she just stared out into the room and screamed and tears fell from her face!!
Now if this wasn't bad enough, the Doctor who was on the floor that day came running into the room as this is happening and she screams "STOP...This can't happen today, we don't have a crib."
Any composure that I may have had left, quickly vanished! I looked at the child advocate and I broke down and I cried and I said "NO...I will NOT let you do this to my baby again...I am not leaving...I was promised a crib...GO find a crib, and if you can't, then I will sleep on the floor and hold her bed to make sure she does not fall out...but I AM NOT LEAVING"
This all happened while they were attaching the Leeds to her head and they only had half of them on!
We had this procedure scheduled the day she was diagnosed, and I had a child advocate from the Hospital that was in constant contact with me. I had explained that Zoey needed a crib and I was told we would have one.
They finished the procedure and they unwrapped her from the blankets that were used to restrain her, and she was able to sit up. I gave her some fruit loops and I watched as she crunched away.
All I wanted to do was hold her...she wouldn't let me.
A nice woman who visits the Hospital with her dog every month stopped in our room and asked if my daughter would like a visit with the dog and I said "sure."
This is the moment when any amount of denial I had quickly vanished.
I watched as this beautiful yellow lab approached the bed and my daughter didn't look up or even move, I watched as this big dog jumped up on my daughter's hospital bed and started eating the fruit loops around her feet...again, my daughter didn't look up or even flinch. My 22 month old non verbal daughter was in her own little world, she was on sensory overload and traumatized and this dog wasn't going to pull her out and neither was a hug from her Mommy!
I swear a piece of me died that day....and I promised, NEVER again!! This is why I fight, This is why I Advocate for Autism Awareness...I Do it all for her!!
© 2015
Melissa Cote
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