I go away for a little bit
Not sure how long as each time is different
I don’t always know that I’m lost and neither do you
A change in hair color, attitude, and I see the world through a whole new view
It’s me, but it’s not. It’s another version of me
Lost in my own head
Not wanting to confront what hurts me
And makes my insides feel dead
When I’m lost like this and another “me” takes
Over to help me cope and deal
That’s when I really have trouble deciphering
What is actually real
I’m not sure how many times I’ve been lost
I know that it is more than I can count
I don’t always know I’m gone as it always
Depends on how severe the bout
It feels like being on autopilot without
Ever learning how to fly
Sit back, relax and try to enjoy the ride
So hard to do when you’re so lost inside
My brain doesn’t do this to hurt or confuse me
It protects me and hides me away
From the traumas and demons that
Haunt me every single day
Over the years I have learned what it’s like to
Lose myself and how I find my way back
Sometimes it’s quick, while other
Times I’m so lost and so very sick
I’m not like most people, I know that now and
Am completely aware; until stress, a trigger, a
Traumatic event, and then I’m gone again
Struggling for my own air
My illness is real and so am I
I’m not scary or vindictive, I love more than most
I lose myself and go into hiding sometimes
While another “me” plays host
